Rule #1: Don’t mess with Charlie's sleep!
The Rat Learned the Hard Way
When we first started weekending at The Barn (sounds like a happening place? It was!) we all had to sleep in the milk house.
The milk house was a small room connected to the barn, only instead of wood walls, there were cement blocks. Originally this helped to insulate and keep milk cool. Now it served as a great weather barrier for us humans. Dad installed a small wood stove and, presto, we had our prime sleeping accommodations.
One particular weekend Janice and Charlie went to PA alone. The Barn was a retreat from the insanity of the week, a place to go and refocus, get in touch with nature and beauty. A place to get your hands into the earth. A place with no phones, no televisions, maybe a radio station would come in.... maybe not. We loved this place and all it offered and all it did not. It forced us all to just be, and be with each other.
Anyway, for some reason on this weekend it was just Janice and Charlie... and the rat.
The rat - foolish creature!
All was well and in place. Sleeping peacefully, in the quiet country, a crackling fire warming body and soul... until... the rat... chew, chew, chew... chomp, chomp, chomp... scurry, scurry, scamper!
Charlie was now awake. You don’t wake Charlie! He tried to sleep through the intrusion, but it was not happening - he was up and not happy. Janice still slept soundly, a soft murmur rose from her sleeping bag. Charlie was a man on a mission. The rat had to go!
Initial attempts at scaring it away failed. I guess the rat figured he was here first. The gloves came off. Charlie scanned the room with his flashlight in usual spotting format. The next sound was that of a huge bang. That would be the shot that silenced everything, especially the rat. Charlie had taken matters into his own hands - with the logic of a tired, recently woken bear. One shot, and the rat and noise was no more.
Janice had a very different experience. She had no issue with the rat. From a sound sleep she woke by the blast. Sitting straight up, eyes wide - completely useless, just open - she tried to get a grasp, 'What just happened?!'
The room was dark, except for the light being used to examine the remains of the rat. Her eyes adjusted, seeing Charlie and the gun. The story no longer needed to be told. Charlie laid down, contented that now he could get some sleep. Janice's eyes still had not come back down to normal size, they could barely blink, much less function with any normalcy. She sat there for some time trying to decide if she should chastise this man, her husband, for waking her in this manner. He still had the gun by his side. She came to the obvious, logical decision of waiting till he had proper sleep.
The milk house was a small room connected to the barn, only instead of wood walls, there were cement blocks. Originally this helped to insulate and keep milk cool. Now it served as a great weather barrier for us humans. Dad installed a small wood stove and, presto, we had our prime sleeping accommodations.
One particular weekend Janice and Charlie went to PA alone. The Barn was a retreat from the insanity of the week, a place to go and refocus, get in touch with nature and beauty. A place to get your hands into the earth. A place with no phones, no televisions, maybe a radio station would come in.... maybe not. We loved this place and all it offered and all it did not. It forced us all to just be, and be with each other.
Anyway, for some reason on this weekend it was just Janice and Charlie... and the rat.
The rat - foolish creature!
All was well and in place. Sleeping peacefully, in the quiet country, a crackling fire warming body and soul... until... the rat... chew, chew, chew... chomp, chomp, chomp... scurry, scurry, scamper!
Charlie was now awake. You don’t wake Charlie! He tried to sleep through the intrusion, but it was not happening - he was up and not happy. Janice still slept soundly, a soft murmur rose from her sleeping bag. Charlie was a man on a mission. The rat had to go!
Initial attempts at scaring it away failed. I guess the rat figured he was here first. The gloves came off. Charlie scanned the room with his flashlight in usual spotting format. The next sound was that of a huge bang. That would be the shot that silenced everything, especially the rat. Charlie had taken matters into his own hands - with the logic of a tired, recently woken bear. One shot, and the rat and noise was no more.
Janice had a very different experience. She had no issue with the rat. From a sound sleep she woke by the blast. Sitting straight up, eyes wide - completely useless, just open - she tried to get a grasp, 'What just happened?!'
The room was dark, except for the light being used to examine the remains of the rat. Her eyes adjusted, seeing Charlie and the gun. The story no longer needed to be told. Charlie laid down, contented that now he could get some sleep. Janice's eyes still had not come back down to normal size, they could barely blink, much less function with any normalcy. She sat there for some time trying to decide if she should chastise this man, her husband, for waking her in this manner. He still had the gun by his side. She came to the obvious, logical decision of waiting till he had proper sleep.
So Did Our Neighbor
Our next door neighbor, Gerry, learned in a unique way of Rule #1.
Gerry had a big pool in his backyard, which was below Janice and Charlie's bedroom window. The pool pump was on a timer, it would cycle on and off throughout the day - and night.
Charlie had spoken to Gerry several times about fixing the noisy pump and resetting the timing. Gerry just yes'd him away. He did not know how serious Charlie was.
Nighttime comes. The world is sleeping serenely - and RHUMMMMMMMM! The pool began filtering at 2 am. The bear was woken, again, at 2 am.... can you see where this is going?
Yes, you got it... The pump was being shot at 2:01 am.
Guess who was wide-eyed and up now?! Janice bolted upright, "Charlie! Good God, what is it this time?!"
He never answered much. We never questioned much. He just laid back down to get some sleep. Janice flopped back into her pillow. It’s no wonder she twitches when she sleeps.
The next morning, when Gerry woke, he went to check on his pool. There he knelt, by his filter, trying to determine why it wasn't working. It didn’t take long to figure out - the bullet hole was a sure indicator for its mechanical failure. He stood up and turned towards our house yelling "CHAARRLIEEE!!!" Shaking his head, he mumbled his way into his house.
I am sure the two men had words. I didn’t get to witness that. Can’t imagine Gerry pushed too hard. All I know is, there was a new, super quiet, pump installed the next day.
Gerry had a big pool in his backyard, which was below Janice and Charlie's bedroom window. The pool pump was on a timer, it would cycle on and off throughout the day - and night.
Charlie had spoken to Gerry several times about fixing the noisy pump and resetting the timing. Gerry just yes'd him away. He did not know how serious Charlie was.
Nighttime comes. The world is sleeping serenely - and RHUMMMMMMMM! The pool began filtering at 2 am. The bear was woken, again, at 2 am.... can you see where this is going?
Yes, you got it... The pump was being shot at 2:01 am.
Guess who was wide-eyed and up now?! Janice bolted upright, "Charlie! Good God, what is it this time?!"
He never answered much. We never questioned much. He just laid back down to get some sleep. Janice flopped back into her pillow. It’s no wonder she twitches when she sleeps.
The next morning, when Gerry woke, he went to check on his pool. There he knelt, by his filter, trying to determine why it wasn't working. It didn’t take long to figure out - the bullet hole was a sure indicator for its mechanical failure. He stood up and turned towards our house yelling "CHAARRLIEEE!!!" Shaking his head, he mumbled his way into his house.
I am sure the two men had words. I didn’t get to witness that. Can’t imagine Gerry pushed too hard. All I know is, there was a new, super quiet, pump installed the next day.