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Gleam

A quick preface to this story.
Every person has strengths and weaknesses. Things they can handle, things they can’t. It’s what makes the world go round. Operating in the face of a weakness, may be revealing the exact opposite - the ultimate strength. My mother was the one that cared for my sisters and I when sick. Opening windows, changing sheets, baths, warm clothes, braided hair, soup, toast, medicine and whatever else might have been needed. That was the norm, unless the dreaded weakness happened. Forgive the TMI - Vomiting. Yup, that was Mom’s Achilles heal. She tried her best to be supportive, but the gag reflect just would not allow.
There with a brood of sick children she'd be, patting backs, handing cold wet towels for foreheads, soothing despair and tears - but all I remember is her patting a comfort, then choking and gagging. She wasn’t sick, in the health related term. But she was sick. Each time we heaved, so did Mom. These are the moments mothers tap into their strength. (It's called motherHOOD for a reason.)
Well aware of this weakness, and being the prankster he was, Dad thought it would be fun to play.
On her recent food shopping excursion, Mom bought a new toothpaste. Gleam. Gleam, was not the typical pasty white, but translucent green and gluey. It was actually pretty the way it glistened. Dad used it for the first time. He came downstairs with a spirited, purpose driven gate. Mom was in the kitchen.
‘Janice. I must be coming down with a cold.’
With that, he sneezed the biggest, loudest sneeze he could muster. Both hands theatrically stayed in place, covering his mouth. He scrunched his eyes indicating something disgusting had just happened. Slowly, ever so slowly, he lowered his hands. As he removed them from his face, big, gooey, sticky globs of green oozed out all over - between his fingers, dripping in long looping, stringy strands. His face was covered.
We all screamed in disgust and surprise. Except Mom. She immediately started gagging. Then running as quick as she could for the bathroom. My sisters and I didn’t know who to watch... Mom or Dad?!
Dad must be getting really sick? None of us ever had a sneeze like that! Poor Mom ran dry heaving all the way down the hall. It was quite the show, that got even more curious. Once Mom was out of sight, Dad went from being sick to hysterical. He started to laugh uncontrollably, making unsuccessful attempts to quiet his snorts and giggles. It was at this point my sisters and I realized his face was covered in Gleam! Though Dad somewhat managed to contain himself, he couldn't contain the kids. We were all over him for his prank at Mom’s expense. He washed his face in the kitchen sink as Mom made her way back into the kitchen. She was as green as the Gleam on his face and realized she had been had. My sisters and I outed him immediately in the hopes of easing her dilemma. That said, Dad wasn’t helping the situation by not being able to control his laughter. Mom was a good sport. I think she was just glad he wasn't that kind of sick. Needless to say.... Gleam was no longer on the shopping list.
Charlie Hagenmayer, aka Charlie Dodge: Tuner, Head Wrench, Crew Chief,President & Co-founder/Owner of the original Pacer's Auto., Inc. ...and so much more!
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